It's been a while ya'll. I had planned this great "catching up" post today - and then I stepped on the scale this morning and those numbers changed everything.
Here's my moment of truth...
My weight today is just a few pounds short of what I weighed on the morning I delivered Lillian. I understand that this state of my body is my fault - but I just can't keep living like this! My self-confidence is low, my body image is poor - I haven't worn shorts in 9 years!! 9 YEARS!! I live in the south - so it's safe to say that summer is my LEAST favorite season and 95 degrees doesn't feel good in a pair of jeans.
Can I be honest here for a second? I am fully aware that my worth is not tied to those numbers in that photo. I am confident that I am a smart, beautiful, God fearing woman who loves her family, offers grace and walks in kindness. I am proud of the person I am - not so much the reflection in the mirror. I say that because I know that in my experience (if health issues are the cause of your weight gain - this does NOT apply to you) I am where I am because I make poor choices in eating and do not exercise.
I make every excuse in the book -
I'm too tired to work out
I don't have enough time to prep my meals
I don't like to get sweaty and out of breath
It's raining out - I can't make it to the running track
I don't have anything to wear to the gym
and the list.goes.on!
Truthfully - I've grown complacent. I may not like how tightly my baggy pants are fitting or how uncomfortable I am at the thought of donning a swim suit - but I don't have the motivation or drive to do anything about it.
I'd rather complain than act - and that's a problem.
It's a problem because my discontent breeds unhappiness - which flows over into my marriage. I refuse to participate in activities my husband enjoys because 'I'm out of shape'.
Chris has had the patience of Job with me - and I am fully confident that he loves me regardless of size or shape - but (and here comes the backlash) I believe I have a responsibility to take care of my body for my husband. And I have failed in that area...miserably.
Everything I have read says you need accountability in your weight loss journey - what better accountability than putting my struggles out here on the internet. I am certain that I am not the only woman feeling this way - stuck in this same rut - and I encourage you to join me in my journal to Get Me Back.
Every Friday here at Grace for Mama will be Fit Friday. I will weigh in and talk about my victories (and failures) during this journey.
Next week I will talk about my struggles with food and how this has played a MAJOR role in packing on the pounds.
Are you in this same situation?
Comment below if you want to join me in my journey to get fit!!
It's so good to be back :)